Eyes Wide Shut
by DestinyCalls
Summary: The Marauders and Lily are in their final year at Hogwarts, facing trust issues, new professors, and the uprising war against evil. Will Lily finally notice James? And will they all prevail against the rising evil facing their generation? Story is better!
1. Rain Dancing

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first fic on this site, so please be generous with the reviews! I already have 12 of the chapters written and the more you review, the faster I update!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything of the sort. I own this plot and characters you don't recognize. Now, if you do wish to sue me, all you could possibly get is a few old gummy bears that I have just found in my pocket, so I think that covers it.

Chapter 1

Rain Dancing

I woke up slowly, to the sound of thunder. I pulled back the bed hangings and saw rain pouring down and beating on the window. I smiled to myself and hopped out of bed. I loved the rain. I glanced around the room, then spotted my trunk in a corner. I rushed over to it and pulled out a dark pair of jeans and a white halter top. While looking in my vanity mirror, I pulled my flaming red hair into a high ponnie-tail and smiled at my appearance. I quickly put a tad bit of makeup on, then closed my trunk again.

I was leaving the next day to return to my school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was going to be my seventh year there, and I had been completely packed for the last three days. Hogwarts was my home, not where I was. I glanced around and sighed. My parents had always given me anything I wanted, but not because they loved me. No, they were too wrapped up in their own lives and would just scream at Petunia and I.

Dad was the owner of a drill company, called Grunnings. My step-mum, Mary, was supposed to stay at home, watch us 'kids' and clean up. Instead, she would go have another affair with one of her many boyfriends. I sighed again, remembering all of this and walked down the stairs.

Petunia and her boyfriend, Vernon Dursley, were sitting at the kitchen table, feeding each other. I rolled my eyes and walked past them, ignoring the death glares from my sister. I jumped up on the counter and picked up an apple from the bowl of fruit. I slowly ate it, just to annoy Petunia. Finally, she got the point that I wasn't leaving anytime soon and blew up.

"Lily, would you get out!" she screamed, jumping from her seat. I just kept calm and stared right back at her.

"Let me think, sis. Um… no," I calmly replied. I was always purposely annoying Petunia. It was so much fun to watch her reactions.

"FINE!" she screeched and walked up the stairs, toward her room, no doubts, and pulled Vernon behind her. My eyes grew wide as I saw this; Petunia sure could have some strength when she wanted it. She was frail and skinny, with thin blond hair. She was nineteen years old and had been going steady with Vernon for a year, now. He was tubby… no… more like downright fat. He had brown greasy hair resting on the top of his chubby head and cold brown eyes. I stared up after them and shrugged; I was used to being alone.

All of my friends lived farther away; as far away from muggles, as possible. I was a muggle-born witch and the only person that I knew from my school, who lived around here, was the person that I most despised. His name: James Potter.

He was an arrogant, annoying, conceited, self-centered bully who would never leave me alone. He had a HUGE crush on me, ever since our first year. He was tall and had messy black hair, which he would mess up even more, trying to make him look better. He was also in Gryffindor, which made him harder to avoid. He was leader of his group of friends, who called themselves the Marauders. It consisted of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and for some reason, Peter Pettigrew. Sirius and Remus were both VERY good looking; Remus with his ocean blue eyes that you could just lose yourself in, and Sirius with his knee-weakening smile.

I sighed to myself and remembered my best friends. Shaylene Keller, or Shae as I called her, had gone out with Sirius many times, but they would soon break up, moving on to new prey. They both were some of the most popular in the school, with a new date every week. My other friend, Bethany Knapp, was going steady with Remus. They were practically made for each other; loving books and valued friends above everything. Now, my last best friend, Kristina Ewald, couldn't ever hold a secret and knew every single word of gossip that had ever gone around the school. We each had had our fair share of boyfriends, the Marauders being no exception.

I looked at the clock and laughed. It was already three in the afternoon. I had been day dreaming for a while now, and had woken up not too long ago. I looked out the window again and smiled, the rain was still pouring down. I had always loved the rain and when I was little, I would always dance around in it. I was older, though… but I couldn't resist. I slowly tip-toed to the door, and just as I reached for the handle, it swung open, startling me.

My dad and his wife, who I refuse to notice as my 'new mother,' stood there, screaming at each other. Apparently, Mary had been caught with another man, once again. I rolled my eyes, and tried to remember my real mother. I looked just like her, with flaming red hair, and emerald green eyes. I hoped to the high heavens that I NEVER would act like her, cheating on my husband then leaving my family. My mother had left us when I was seven. The next year, my father had brought Mary home and… batta bing, batta boom, she was our step-mother. My father had always been so wonderful, and I had no idea how he ended up with Mary. I sighed, remembering those fantastic years without her.

"Oh, hey honey," Dad said, kissing my forehead. I smiled back at him, then glared at Mary. I was no longer afraid of her. Sure, she had abused me in the past, but ever since I had received my admittance letter from school, she backed off.

I decided to wait to dance in the rain; it was no use when my parents were home, unless they were in their room, screaming at each other, so they couldn't hear me. I walked back to my room, and listened to my walkman, until I couldn't resist the temptation from the weather outside. I glanced at my bedside clock and saw that it read, 8:00 PM. My stomach rumbled, yet couldn't overpower the yells coming from the next floor up.

I rolled my eyes and dashed to the kitchen. There was a note from Petunia:

_Dear Family,_

_Vernon has taken me out to dinner, then a movie. I shall be back home, around eleven, maybe._

_Love From,_

_Petunia_

I rolled my eyes once more and crumbled up the note. I tossed it over my shoulder to the trash and reached into the refrigerator. Ten minutes later, I was stuffed full, and my head was about to explode from the screaming coming from my parent's bedroom. Once again, I tip-toed to the door. I turned the knob, looked back over my shoulder once, then dashed into the cold rain.

I laughed and flung my arms all over, spinning around and around. A few minutes later, I looked back at my house. Just then, I noticed that the yelling had stopped and my dad's car was gone. He had seen me in the rain, but I guess he didn't care. I looked at my parent's room and saw brown hair. Mary had been watching me, which was bad, because this is what she used to punish me most for. She had always said it was very un-lady-like.

I gulped and looked around. There was nothing I could do, but try to go back into the house. I slowly walked to the door, my head bowed low. Just as a stepped onto the first stair, my trunk was thrown out of my bedroom window. I saw my step-mother's cold eyes glaring at me, then she screamed.

"LILLIAN MARIE EVANS! You are not coming back into this house! I will see you again next summer!" The window shut with a loud 'thud' and I looked around, then finally spotted my trunk, with all of my belongings sprawled around everywhere.

"Ah!" I screamed, frustrated, OBVIOUSLY. Where was I supposed to go? I slowly looked around, then my eyes locked on my neighbor's house. James Potter's house to be exact. There was nowhere else. I was stuck. It was either get soaked in the rain, beginning my walk to King's Cross, since it was an hours drive, about a five hour walk, or lose my pride and ask the Potter's. I looked up into the sky as I put my things back into my trunk. There was a large bolt of lightning, and then the thunder roared loudly as the rain pelted down harder. My pride would have to be shoved a side, for a day.

I slowly walked to their door, dragging my heavy trunk behind me. I took a deep breath, then rang the doorbell. A few moments later, I saw Mrs. Potter's figure appear through the glass door. She opened it and smiled. "Lily, it's so great to see you, dear!" I smiled back at her. "Oh, come in, come in. What happened to you, dear?" I looked at the floor, trying to think up an excuse.

"I… um…" I said, trying to think as fast as possible. Mrs. Potter frowned, but understood that I didn't want to tell.

"It's quite alright, dear," she said, smiling reassuringly.

"Mrs. Potter, do you think I could…"

"Sure, dear. Follow me; you can sleep in one of the guest rooms, tonight. We can give you a ride to the train tomorrow morning." I smiled and nodded, following her up the set of stairs.

Review Please! J


	2. Giving in to Her

Chapter 2

Giving in to Her

I woke up the next morning and quickly jumped from my bed. I pulled on a pair of light blue jeans and a green top to match my eyes. I pulled my hair into a messy bun at the top of my head and rapidly put on a touch of makeup. I lugged my trunk down to the Potter's kitchen and smiled, realizing that only Mrs. Potter was there.

"Lily, you're up dear," she said, pouring me a cup of orange juice and putting some eggs and bacon onto a plate. "Let me just get James and Sirius, then we'll be off soon." I gulped hard and noticed that she had added 'Sirius' to the sentence. They would torment me for the whole ride. "JAMES! SIRIUS! Hurry up or we're going to be late!" Mrs. Potter yelled.

A few moments later, I heard footsteps coming from the stairs and I glanced up from the sink, where I put my empty plate and glass. James came down wearing only pajama pants, then Sirius only in his boxers. I could the blood rushing to my cheeks and I glanced at the floor and sat in my chair.

"What's for breakfast, Mum?" James asked, with a wide yawn at the end. He then spotted me. "Hey, Evans." I looked up at him, then his eyes bulged. "Evans! What are you doing here?"

"Lily will be getting a ride from us; right after you both hurry up and I get the elf to clean up her room." A second later, I saw the little house elf rush up the stairs, most likely to make my bed that I had slept in.

"Wait, Evans slept here last night and I didn't know?" James asked… no practically screamed… in disbelief. His mother nodded her head, then continued.

"James, this is no way to show yourself in front of a lady! You also, Sirius. Now, go back upstairs and change. I'll get your breakfasts ready." They nodded and Sirius winked at me, not caring if anyone saw him in that state.

A few minutes later, we were sitting in the car, and luckily, Sirius was between James and me. They were both staring at me the whole ride, and I just moodily looked out the window, trying to ignore them.

We finally pulled up to the curb and I pushed open the door. The sun shined in my eyes, which I wish would have happened the day before, or none of this would have happened. I thanked the Potters for letting me stay and driving, then I walked to the trunk of the car.

James ran around and met me there, pulling my trunk from the car. I rolled my eyes at him as he smiled. He picked up both of our trunks and I led the way to the platform. I glanced over my shoulder once as I took my first step onto the train as a seventh year. James had set both of our trunks down in the line, ready to board the train, so I decided to trust him; trust that he wouldn't do anything to it.

I walked alone down the train, peering into each compartment, until I finally found Shaylene, sitting alone, and waiting for me. I tore the door away and rushed inside. "Shaylene!" I exclaimed, pulling her into a huge hug.

Shaylene had long blond hair to her lower back and long bangs that were always swept in front of her bright blue eyes. She looked so much like a dumb blond, with a great body, perfect hair, and perfect facial features, but she was in the top of the class, right after me. Her large smile covered her face as she stepped back to get a better look of me.

"Lily, you look so much different from the last time we saw you!" she said, excitedly.

I smiled my perfect smile and my bright emerald eyes glistened. Just then, the compartment door slid open again and Kristina stepped in. She had short, wavy brown hair to shoulders, dark brown eyes and perfect teeth. She was about five and a quarter feet tall, the shortest of our group. She was skinny, with small curves and had a wide smile. She ran over to us girls and we hugged tightly.

We talked for a few minutes, then the whistle blew. A few seconds later, Bethany and Remus walked in hand in hand. Bethany had black hair to her mid back that was in tight ringlets. She had light blue eyes and was very skinny. We had another round of hugs, then sat down once again to talk.

"Lily, you're Head Girl, right?" Remus asked, while he was stroking Bethany's hair as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah… who told you?" I asked; curiosity taking over me. I had only told Shaylene, and she only sometimes told secrets, yet usually they weren't mine.

"Oh, James did. He was really excited about it," he casually answered.

"How did he know? And why was he excited?" I asked, sitting up straighter, if it was possible.

"You know, his bedroom window is only a few feet from yours. I think you have forgotten that a few times this summer, from my understanding."

I blushed a little, remembering something from the beginning of the summer. I had forgotten about my obsessive fan and was dancing around my room, while the music blasted. I had just taken a shower, so my hair was wet and I was only wearing a small camisole and some _short _shorts. He had climbed through his window and jumped into my room. I was screaming at him for hours and all he could do was say, 'Well, Evans, it was a nice look.'

Remus continued talking, which made me snap out of daydreaming. "Well, he's excited, because…"

"Remus, what!" Kristina exclaimed, sitting on the edge of her seat.

"Well… you see… James is Head Boy," he said, rushing out the last bit in only one breath. We all gaped at him, until the door slid open once more.

"What about me?" James asked, sitting down next to me and putting his arm around my shoulder. I scrunched away from him.

"Potter, don't touch me," I coldly replied, hoping he would follow my orders, even though I couldn't get my hopes up.

"No can do, Evans. You're too gorgeous," he said, he gave me one of his smiles that usually made all the girls fall for him. I rolled my eyes and pushed farther away from him.

"Listen, guys," I said, standing up and brushing off the back of my jeans. "I have to go to the prefect meeting, see you later." I began to walk to the door and James stood up and followed me out, after giving Sirius a quick wink.

As I was walking down the hall towards the prefect's compartment, James set his hand on my shoulder. "Potter, I already told you, don't touch me."

"Just trying to be friendly with my fellow Head," he replied.

I smacked his hand off of me and coldly said, "If you ever touch me again, you won't be here to be the Head Boy." He smiled a crooked smile.

"The beautiful Lily Evans has made heart-throb, James Potter, fall instantly for her. Any comments, Miss Evans?"

"Yeah… sod off, Potter."

"Ooh, I like 'em feisty." He gave me another lopsided smile, so I glared darkly at him, then slapped his arm. I casually walked faster towards the prefect compartment. I stopped once, to see him rubbing his arm. I smiled at my defeat and marched the rest of the way.

I arrived a little late, but whatever, I mean, I was Head Girl. I slid open the door, and the talking immediately stopped. There were two students, from each house and grade level. I glanced around and smiled at everyone, except the Slytherins, of course, as I stood in front of everyone.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Lily Evans, the new Head Girl." I beamed once more, then saw that James had just come in.

"Yeah, and I'm Head Boy," he said, sitting on the end of the row and stretching back. The girls squealed excitedly and I just rolled my eyes.

"Mudblood and Mudblood lover," whispered a Slytherin, to his friend. They both chuckled and glared madly at me. I tried to hide it, but I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. All I wanted to do was improve the school and all _they_ could do was ridicule me.

"What was that?" James asked, jumping up from his seat and pointing his wand threateningly at both of them. I quickly wiped my eyes.

"Potter, just sit down," I snapped. James looked into my eyes, then nodded, following my order. The rest of the girls glared dangerously at me and I just sighed. "Anyways, I've already decided that all of the prefect meetings will be the first of every month. Potter, that okay with you?" He nodded slightly, so I continued. "Okay, Potter and I will be discussing everything else later, so we'll inform you at our first true meeting. Now, every once in a while, I want you patrolling. I will be making sure that everyone patrols at least twice, each. You're excused." I waved my arm towards the door and began to follow the last person, but James put his arm on my shoulder.

"Are you okay? I heard what those Slytherins were saying."

"Does it really make a difference to you?" He stared blankly at me for a moment. "I didn't think so." I turned around again and marched back to the compartment.

The rest of the train ride went by slowly, hours stacked upon hours. I had checked the patrolling about twice, then left it, once I had fallen asleep with my head against the cold train window. I had fallen asleep to the quiet pitter-patter of the rain that had unfortunately come back.

I woke up as the Hogwarts Express slowly rolled to a stop. I looked around and noticed that the rest of my friends had followed my lead. Then, I saw James. His head was resting in my lap and he was curled up into a small ball. He looked so sweet and innocent, smiling in his sleep with his hair messier than usual. I frowned, realizing my thought, then pushed him off me.

"Wh-what?" he said, startled as he fell to the floor with a dull 'THUD.' That made the rest of the group wake up, as I stared at James, with one eyebrow raised. Again, he looked so cute, waking up. I shook my head, as if trying to rattle the thought from ever entering my head again.

"Potter, you were sleeping on me," I said coolly. He smiled mischievously and I just gave a dull, "Hmff."

"You look so much prettier when you're mad," he said. He stood up and brushed himself off after running a hand through is hair, to give it the windblown and I-just-got-off-my-broom look.

"Potter… I'm…" I stuttered, trying to find the correct words.

"Falling madly in love with you? Wishing you would go out with me? Speechless at your dashing looks?" He suggested. I glared darkly, then continued.

"I'M APPAULED AT YOU, YOU STUPID GIT!" I screamed, then stormed from the compartment, realizing we were the only ones left onboard.

I jumped into the rain and couldn't help but to twirl around a few times. After seeing that everyone was staring at me, I began to usher the first years over to Hagrid, the games-keeper, and the rest of the students to the carriages. I squinted my eyes into the pouring rain and finally saw the massive figure hovering over the students.

"Hagrid, great to see you!" I screamed, trying to be heard over the loud rain. All of the first years were surrounding him and huddling close together, wishing the rain would stop. I smiled widely.

"Lily, Head Girl! Congratulations!" he roared back. I smiled after saying 'goodbye,' then began to dance my way to the horseless carriages. There was only one left, so I reluctantly stepped in.

Shae sat across from Sirius, as James sat across from me. I closed my eyes, wishing I was somewhere else, anywhere else. I opened my eyes and met his dark hazel eyes. He quickly looked away, but at the wrong place. Obviously, I was completely drenched, from head to toe, and unfortunately, the school uniform shirts were white. My eyes grew wide, when I realized then I smacked him upside the head.

"Evans, what was that for?" he asked, rubbing his head with the palm of his hand. I glared darkly at him without answering, until the carriage came to a halt.

He jumped out before me, and held out his hand. I rolled my eyes and splashed menacingly into the rain. Sirius had done the same for Shae, yet she actually took his hand. I glared at her, too, yet continued to stand there.

I began to shiver, slowly walking to the Entrance Hall, then the rain suddenly ceased. I looked up and saw James standing over me, holding his cloak neatly over my head, and smiling. Yes, sweet, but no… annoying. A second later, we reached the large doors, so I quickly pulled away.

We were the last to arrive in the Great Hall, but luckily, we didn't miss anything. I rushed to one of the few empty seats at the Gryffindor table, hoping Shaylene would sit next to me; since it was the only empty pair of seats.

Unfortunately, James can run pretty fast, and stole the seat. I sighed heavily and looked hopefully at Shae. She just shrugged and walked away to find a seat of her own. It was my first time sitting during the Sorting, without her.

As soon as the Sorting Hat began its song, I began to get lost in a daze. I was staring intently into the palms of my hands. They were badly scarred, and I knew well, that at least one other part of me was. I had gotten into a fight with my step-mother only three days before and she didn't hold back, like she had for the past six years. She had only let out all of that built in rage come sputtering out at me.

I could feel eyes on me, so I glanced up. Had I been thinking that long? The Sorting was over and the terrified first-years were already shivering, sitting at their new tables. Dumbledore stood and began giving his speech.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have to agree with everything the Sorting Hat has stated and warned, yet on a lighter not, I would like to introduce the new Head boy and Girl, Lily Evans, and James Potter." I smiled at the crowded hall of students and noticed the snickering from the Slytherin Table. They hadn't had a Head in their house, for a very long time. I glared back at them, but kept my phony smile plastered on my face.

The Headmaster gave a wave of his hand and the food appeared magically on the long tables. "Dig in."

The feast was over before I knew it, and Dumbledore had once again stood up. He raised his hand to signal for silence.

"Now that we are all full, I'm sure you'll be wanting to sleep. Before I excuse you, I'd like to make a few announcements. Firstly, I'd like to say that the Forbidden Forest is strictly forbidden to all students." His eyes flashed to the Marauders, looking each in the eye before he continued.

"Secondly, any rule breaking, and you will be suffering the consequences." His eyes roamed the room, but once again, finished on the Marauders. I tried to hide my giggling when James gave him a small wave, and a huge smile.

"And lastly," he continued, "Lily, James, I would like to speak with you. Good night, everyone." I glanced nervously at James, who caught it.

We cautiously walked up to the staff table and waited for the Great Hall to slowly empty. I looked up into Dumbledore's eyes, and thankfully, they were still twinkling. He motioned us to follow him.

A few moments later, we had arrived in front of his office. "Sugar Quills," he said and the gargoyles jumped aside. As we walked up the spiraling stairs behind him, he began to speak. "You will receive a list of the passwords to my office, in case you have to reach me for emergencies." I nodded and sat down in one of the chairs adjacent to his desk.

I looked around his office. There were many pictures of former Headmasters and Headmistresses, many knick-knacks everywhere, and the most intriguing thing in his office: his phoenix. It was bright red with edges of gold. "What's the phoenix's name?" I asked, breaking the silence.

I looked at James who acted like none of this was a big deal. It was my first time ever in the Headmaster's office, and obviously, it was all old to him. "Fawkes," James said, lifting up in his chair, so he could sit on one of his legs. I gave him a disgusted look, then turned back to Dumbledore.

"So what did you need to speak to us about, Professor?" I asked as he handed me the list of passwords.

He smiled over his half-moon spectacles, then answered my question. "Firstly, I'd like to congratulate both of you. Secondly, I'd like you to decide on some of the things for the year. You two must both agree on the one holiday that the Holiday Ball will take place on; Halloween, Christmas, or Valentine's Day. Also, the theme of the Leaving Ball and the Hogsmeade dates must be determined. Now, off to your Common Room. Please try to decide tonight, and let me know, once you figure it out." He dismissed us, so I smiled and thanked him, then left with James.

As soon as we got to the Common Room, I looked around to find it empty. I plopped onto the couch and James did the same next to me. "Okay, so what I was thinking was Halloween for the holiday it can be a costume ball, Loving Years for the theme, and… for Hogsmeade weekends… two weeks before Halloween, Valentine's Day, and one in May?"

"Sounds good to me," James said. "It looks like you have spent a lot of time thinking of this."

"Yeah, ever since I found out about being Head Girl, I've thought of just about everything… Wait! Are you giving in to me? To me, Lillian Marie Evans?"

"Yeah… guess I am," he answered. I raised an eyebrow at him, but I stood up to leave, anyways. Just as I was about to go up to my dormitory, James wrenched the password list from my hand. I quickly spun around to see his smiling face, only inches from mine.

"Potter, give that back," I said. I didn't want to play his stupid games to retrieve it.

His smile grew wider as he lifted his arm, along with the parchment, above his head. Why did I have to be so short?

"Potter, I said, give it back!" I scowled at him, and I could feel the anger rising inside of me. I guess he noticed. His eyes glinted and he raised his arm higher.

"Sorry, Evans. Not this time. I'm Head Boy, so I have the right to have it, just as much as you do." I glared at him. He was right, but he continued. "Come on, Evans. Jump for it, if you want it so bad."

I was not anywhere near to doing exactly what he wanted. Right then, something came over me and I did the opposite of what he wanted.

I leaned close to him, and saw his eyes slowly closing. We were only inches away, and I tired to hide my smirks. Right then, I smacked him across the cheek and snatched the paper from his limp hand. I snickered as I raced up the staircase.

"Hey!" he screamed from behind me. Wow, that was like a ten second delay… I thought he was supposed to have excellent reflexes since he's seeker. Oh well, I guess I stunned him.

Suddenly, the stairs turned into a slide. He sure was smarter than he looked… he had tried to get me back down to the Common Room. Luckily, though, I had just reached the landing and I ran through the door panting.

I looked around to see that Shaylene, Bethany, and Kristina were already asleep. I rolled my eyes and quickly got into bed, thinking of what James's reactions might be the next day. I would pay.

A/N: I'm so sorry about the long delay! I was so busy when I posted the first chapter and it wasn't very smart of me to post yet. I also got really sick and landed myself in the hospital for a short while, only to get out and have to go right back in about 2 weeks later for a broken ankle, from when I was dancing. I honestly do plan on posting more often, so don't give up on me! I appreciate all of the reviews from the last chapter (although few) and I sincerely encourage you to review again!


	3. Scarred Secrets

Chapter 3

Scarred Secrets

I woke up the next morning to my friends screaming at me.

"Lily, get up, NOW!" Kristina screamed, shaking me violently. I rolled over and slowly pulled the covers off of me.

"What time is it?" I asked as I yawned and began to change to my school robes, slowly but surely.

"We have ten minutes to get to the Great Hall, or we'll miss breakfast!" yelled Bethany, rushing around the room, and trying to clean up a bit. It didn't do any good, but I must say that Kristina's bed was a tad bit better. She was the sporty one of the group; one of Gryffindor's Chasers and probably the messiest.

"Why didn't you wake me up!" I shouted right back at them and rushing everything. I pulled my hair into a sloppy bun on the top of my head, yet two pieces swished in front of my eyes. I didn't have time, so I left them, and went on with rushing around our dormitory.

"We tried, but you wouldn't budge," Shae said calmly, as she took a seat on her bed and just stared at us three who were running around like lunatics. I froze and looked at them in disbelief.

Last night, I had had a dream about my future, well I guess it was. I was gently setting down my son, in his crib and I heard a scream come from my 'husband'. I whipped around and found him lying dead on the floor with a hooded figure hovering over him with a wand in one hand. They had waken me up, just as I stared horrified at the man who was about to murder my son.

"Wh-wh-what?" I asked. I hadn't been able to wake up. Odd.

"You were muttering something in your sleep like…" Kristina went on. "Don't kill Harry, take me. You've already taken James." Then it struck me. It had been James lying dead on the floor. James had been my husband.

I chuckled a bit. Then it was only a dream. James Patrick Potter would _never _be my husband, so it obviously would never happen.

"What's so funny?" Bethany asked, halting from her attempts at cleaning and staring at me. I chuckled a bit more.

"Oh, nothing." I sure did have a weird dream, but there was no way I was going to tell them about it.

Moments later, we had arrived in the Great Hall and rushed to the only seats left. Unfortunately, they were right across from the Marauders. We started shoveling bacon, toast, and eggs onto our plates as they passed out the schedules.

"Alright! My favorite classes are today!" I exclaimed, still shoving food furiously into my mouth.

"And what would those be?" asked Shae.

"Muggle Studies, then Herbology, then Double Charms!" They all rolled their eyes as they searched for their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. James seemed to be the only other who had an odd favorite. It was, for some unknown reason, Transfiguration.

I felt someone wit down next to me, and I smiled. "Hey Lils," Brett said, and kissed my cheek. It was Brett Johnson of Hufflepuff., and we had been dating for about four months. Hey, it was a long time for me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James scowl, so I had to try and suppress my chuckles. He sure was a good actor; always pretending to fancy me. But I wasn't stupid; it was all an act that I had been aware of for the past six years.

I turned back to Brett. He had long golden blonde hair and light blue eyes. He was tall, also. I guess he was cute. The best part was, though, he was Ravenclaw's Quidditch Captain and Seeker. It was so wonderful because this just added to James's jealousy, since he's Gryffindor's Captain and Seeker.

"Sorry, I didn't see you yesterday. I was a bit wrapped up," Brett said. I smiled and replied.

"No problem." I only liked Brett as a friend, but I let him stick around to annoy James. It was funny… no, it was hilarious. For some reason, I always did love to make James mad and annoyed. It was just another thing on my daily schedule.

"Johnson, get away from Lily," James said forcefully. I rolled my eyes and leaned over to Shae who was sitting on the other side of me.

"Here we go again," I whispered. She nodded and gave me an exasperated look.

"Potter, how many times do I have to tell you?" Brett began. "Lily's mine." James jumped up and I looked him in the eye. I could see a fire burning inside of him.

"She's not an object that you can use at will. She's a person," James began. Before he could say anything else, I cut in.

"Potter, calm down. I'm going out with him, not you. Just get over it," I icily said. I stood up next to Brett and he wrapped his arm around my waist. Together, we walked from the hall.

Hours later, I was in my usual seat for Charms. I loved this subject, so I naturally grabbed a seat in the center, first row. I smiled up at the Professor as he began.

"Hello students!" he chimed.

"Hello, Professor Flitwick," everyone dully replied.

As he began to review from previous years, I took notes on every word he said. I was always like this; taking notes very animatedly.

Before I knew it, my mind was newly refreshed with Charms information and I had earned my house twenty more points. I slowly walked back to the Common Room in a daze with the rest of my friends vigorously chatting next to me.

The next week had just flown by and before I knew it, it was Saturday morning and I was sitting alone by the fireplace. I had my book in my lap and was reading quickly. I heard footsteps coming, and I looked up. From the boys' staircase, it was James Potter. I groaned and returned to my book.

"Hey Evans," he said, sitting next to me and ruffling his hair. I hated it when he did this! "What are you reading?"

"A book," I said, not even glancing from the pages.

"Ooh, being quite detailed today, aren't we?" His perfect smile flew across his face and his eyes lit up. He snatched the book from my hold and held it above his head. Not this again.

"Potter, you obviously don't know a way to a woman's heart if you think that this is going to get me to like you." His smile grew wider and his eyes glinted again.

I reached up to smack his cheek, once again, but this time, he was ready. He was a star Quidditch player, and had, unfortunately for me, wonderful reflexes. He grabbed my hand with one graceful stoke. I inwardly groaned and shut my eyes. I heard him gasp and my eyes jumped open. I ripped my hand from his.

"L-Lily?" he asked, staring me in the eye. "Lily, what happened to your hands?" I shoved my hands into my jean pockets and shook my head. "You can tell me." His eyes were pleading.

I shook my head again. "You wouldn't understand."

"Yes, I think I would." Everyone always says this, but they never do. Everything happens to me, and they always say the same thing, even though they have never confronted anything like it.

I leaned back farther into the deep sofa, and tried to hide my wincing. "What? Do you… do you have more scars?" I closed my eyes, not wanting him to see the tears welling up in them. "Lily, you should go to the Hospital Wing. I don't know what happened, but I know that you should go."

Who said that again? It was James. Why was he being so sweet? Beats me. Where else are my scars?

I shut my eyes and answered my own question. My back, the back of my neck, and my hands. "I guess I should go," I said. I stood up and began to the portrait hole.

"I'll take you," James offered. For some reason, I smiled weakly at him and walked next to him down the hallways. I had been planning to go to the Great Hall to get some food instead of doing what he asked, but I couldn't now that he was next to me.

We reached the doors of the Hospital Wing and James opened them for me. I issued one more fake smile.

A while later, I was sitting on one of the beds, with Essence of Murlap plastered all over my cuts. They had already been closed, but it was to get rid of the scars. James had left about a half hour before and I was to stay over night with the nurse, Madame Knapp, Bethany's aunt, and her trainee, Madame Pomfrey. Soon, I was fast asleep; drugged from all of the potions that I had been given.

_I was sitting alone in the living room of my father's house, sorting through my new school supplies. The door opened, so I naturally looked to see who it was. My step-mother, Mary, had just walked in. She was scowling darkly at me._

_I gulped and stared into her eyes, knowing what was about to happen. "You freak!" she screamed, throwing her bag at the door, with such a force that it shut. Petunia had gotten all of her disgust for me, from this evil woman. "You think you are so wonderful with your magic, but you're not. You're nothing but a freak."_

"_No, I'm not," I replied, trying to hide the fear in my voice, but failing miserably._

_Her eyes glinted madly and before I knew it, she had thrown me to the wall. I slid down on the broken pieces of glass to the cold marble floor._

"_Don't you dare back talk me," she spat, only inches from my face. With all her strength, she threw me out of the French doors that opened up to the tiny courtyard. I skid on my hands, trying to hoist myself up quickly. I put one hand on my back and it felt too warm. It was blood. I glared at the direction that I thought she was in, as the doors slammed shut, locking me out. My father was home._

_I could hear her explaining to him that I had gone berserk and ruined everything. Pfft. I walked around to another side of the house and slowly crawled up the drain pipe, inching my way to my open window. I hopped in, finally, and just cried onto the floor of my bathroom. _

I woke up, my eyes a little blurry. I saw two people hovering over me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Standing there, was Shaylene, and James. What was he doing here?

"How are you feeling?" Shae asked. I looked at my hands. The scars were gone, but some brown substance was caked on.

"Better," I replied, smiling at her. James had obviously told them about it.

"So… how'd you get the cuts?" she asked, making me a little too uncomfortable.

"I… um… fell… down the stairs… at my father's house," I lied, hoping they'd believe me. Shae just smiled, and didn't think anything of it, but James gave me a concerned look. Why did he care?

"Can I get out of here yet?" I asked casually. They both nodded and I jumped up. James went off to find the rest of the Marauders while Shae and I talked. Apparently only she, James, Kristina, Bethany, Sirius, and Remus had visited me, not even Brett. I shrugged it off, after all, it was only one night and not that big of a deal. We reached the Great Hall, moments later, for lunch.


	4. Split Personalities

AN: Thanks everyone for reviewing and I know it has been a long time, so I added two more chapters. I've been writing and rewriting them to get them as good as I possibly could! It's been really hectic for me with school, dance, competition, volleyball, and now finals. It's summer next week, but I'm going to Italy for two weeks. After that, I'll be home a lot more so I can hopefully update more often! PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE THE MORE YOU REVIEW, THE MORE I UPDATE.

Chapter 4

Split Personalities

Before I knew it, the weekend had flown by, as with the rest of September. It was two weeks until Halloween, and a Friday. It was Transfiguration, my last lesson of the day. I sat one row in front of the Marauders with Bethany on one side of me, and Shaylene on the other side.

I began to daze off into my own thoughts, until something hit me… literally. I gave them a deep glare and picked up the crumbled paper ball by my feet.

I slowly opened it, then read a note.

_Lily,_

_We need to talk about Brett. Watch him like a hawk._

_James_

I gave a small 'hmff' and carelessly discarded the note over my shoulder. I was not going to break up with Brett, just for Potter.

The class ended and I walked to the Common Room, talking with my friends about the note.

"He's just stupid," Kristina insisted. "That's all he ever talks about during practice; how this is his last chance to get your heart."

"The only thing he's going to get from me is my nausea. He makes me sick!" I said, as we stepped through the portrait hole and the Fat Lady shut behind us.

Just as we made our way to a maroon sofa by the empty fireplace, it swung open once more. All four troublemakers were laughing together. I glanced up and caught James's eyes. He walked over and I let out a large breath of air.

"Evans, listen," he ordered. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he continued. "We need to talk about Brett."

"No, Potter. You listen. My relationship with him is none of your business and will never be," I shot at him. He looked taken aback, but quickly regained his composure.

"Seriously, we _need_ to talk," he went on. I glared harder.

"No, I don't think we do." I got up and walked out of the room. I didn't know where I was going, but I just kept walking.

I ended up in the Great Hall; I guess I could have an early dinner. I slowly walked across the almost-empty hall and glanced around. Brett was sitting with his best friends, Austin Roley of Hufflepuff, and Scott Hyden and Cooper Pearson of Ravenclaw. Austin had short dark brown hair, green eyes, and was very athletic. Scott had short blond hair, green eyes, and was taller than the others. Cooper had short light brown hair, and dark brown eyes, with a dreamy smile. They were the next four most wanted boys, right after the Marauders. They were surrounded by their normal gang of admirers, so I decided to break them up.

"Brett!" I yelled across the hall, as I ran through the aisle ways. I squished my way through the group of girls and finally ended up next to him.

"Hey Lils, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary; Potter telling me to keep a watch on you." I laughed at the thought. A weak smile appeared on his face, but he widened it, making it look even more unreal. He had achieved the wrong affect.

"You don't need to," he insisted, quickly; a little too quickly. I gave him a strange look, but he looked away.

"So, are you going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" I asked, quickly bringing up the subject.

"No, sorry," he said and a girl behind me snorted. They still hadn't departed.

I whipped around to see Summer Duval, leader of the 'I-Love-Brett-Johnson' club.

"What is it, Duval?" I asked coldly. She glared back at me and flipped her light brown hair that went to her shoulders. She had freckles dotted across her nose and cheek bones, and cold brown eyes that gave me the chills, yet I glared equally back at her.

"Nothing," she spat.

"Well, if it was nothing, then shut up next time," I hissed. Her best friend then piped up.

"Summer said, it was nothing." It was Jasmine Kaplan, another annoying member of Brett's fan club.

"So, Duval, you finally taught her how to speak," I said, with a smug look on my face. Jasmine and Summer gave me dirty looks then turned on their heel and marched from the room.

"Well, I have to go too. Bye," Brett said. He kissed my cheek, then stood up and followed the girls probably from the Hufflepuff Common Room. I was left behind with his best friends.

"He's been avoiding me lately, what's going on?" I asked them.

A lopsided grin appeared on Austin's face. "He's just been wrapped up with A LOT lately." The two other boys nodded in agreement with equal smiles.

"That's the same excuse he gave me the second day of school." I said. I pondered that for a moment to myself, and the boys excused themselves and followed where Brett had gone.

It was soon dinner time and everyone was talking quickly. As soon as we were about to depart back to the Common Rooms, Dumbledore stood and raised a hand, issuing instant silence.

"I would like to make a joyful announcement," he said, his eyes twinkling all the while. "On Halloween night, we will be hosting our annual Holiday Ball. It will be a costume party, and open to fifth years and above. You may venture into Hogsmeade tomorrow, for ideas, or your outfits. Good luck!"

I smiled wide and glanced over to the Hufflepuff table. Brett wasn't anywhere in sight.

I got up and walked to the Entrance Hall, about to ascend the stairs, when a warm hand touched my shoulder. I twirled around and was staring into deep hazel eyes. They belonged to James Potter.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, another voice appeared behind him.

"Potty and the Mudblood, how touching," said Severus Snape. He had long greasy black hair, and cold, empty eyes. His only 'friend' was Lucius Malfoy, but he only stayed with Snape for the blood (being a pureblood was all Slytherins cared about) and Snape's money.

"What do you want, Snivelly?" James asked, whipping around to stare him in the eye.

"Well, you see, Lucius is now dating Narcissa Conley, so I have no one to torture, since she used to be my main target." I 'hmffed' loudly and he continued. "The Mudblood would be perfect to fill her spot."

"Watch what comes out of your mouth!" James shot. He whipped out his wand and instantly shot a spell at him. "_Scourgify_!"

Pink bubbles erupted from his mouth. "Next time, don't say such vulgar things, and I won't have to wash your mouth with soap. I guess, I should probably wash that hair of yours while I'm at it." He raised his wand once more.

"Potter, don't touch him."

"It won't be me touching him, it would be my spell." I looked him deep in the eye and glared. I saw Snape rush off down to the dungeons from the corner of my eye.

James turned back to me, with a half-satisfied look on his face. "Potter, you didn't have to and shouldn't have done that. You're Head Boy and should be setting a good example!"

"Evans, I thought you'd like me sticking up for you! Everyone knows you can't for yourself!"

I gave a cry of frustration then went on. "Potter, you know, you can be so sweet one moment, then a complete jerk the next!" I turned on my heel and dashed to the Common Room.

The next day, I was sitting in one of the horseless carriages with my best mates, on our way to Hogsmeade. As soon as the carriage rolled to a slow stop, I jumped out.

"So, where to?" Kristina asked, hopping out right behind me.

"We need to decide on costumes, for the Ball, so let's hit all of the robe and clothing shops before lunch," Shaylene stated.

"So, are we going with my idea?" Bethany asked hopefully.

"Of course! It's so awesome, how could we do anything else?" said Kristina, as we walked down the cobblestone road.

We raced to the first store and instantly went crazy. They had dress robes of every style, color, and fabric, known to wizards.

Before long, each of us had a few dress robes of the same color and fabric, mine was bright green, Kristina's being lavender, Bethany's was neon pink, and Shae's a turquoise. We planned on tearing them apart and bewitching them to form our costumes. We were gong to look fantastic!

We departed hours later, for our last stop, the Three Broomsticks. We sat at an empty booth and ordered a round of Butterbeers. Somehow, the topic had completely changed in a matter of seconds.

"Lily, James is acting so much different than last year! He's actually _sweet_ now!" Shae said, taking a sip of her drink.

"I know, but it's probably just another act of his," I said.

"He hasn't pranked you this year, has he?" Kristina asked.

"Well… no. But-" I was cut off by Bethany.

"Then maybe it isn't an act. Maybe he _does_ like you." It was a possibility, but I highly doubted it.

"What we're trying to say, Lils," Shae went on, "is that we think you should give him a chance. Get to know him, then find out if it was a hoax or not."

I sighed deeply. "No. I'm not going to be the butt-end of his jokes. There's no way you can make me go-"

"Hello ladies," said a voice from behind me. I whirled around and Sirius was standing there, with James, Remus, and Peter right behind him. I gave an inward groan.

"Hello boys, how utterly wonderful it is to see you," I said, sarcasm dripping from every word and smiling with a fake tone.

"Same to you, Evans," James said. I rolled my eyes at him and turned back around. There was no way I'd go out with him.

They all took seats at the table, looking as if they were going to stay forever. I groaned again, this time aloud, and stood.

"I have some extra homework to finish, and it's getting late. I'll see you guys later," I said and stood up to leave. I walked from the Three Broomsticks and heard someone yelling for me.

"Lily, you don't have to go. I can leave if you hate me _that_ much," James said, looking down. I shook my head. "Why'd you leave then?"

"Potter, I don't hate you, I just dislike you a lot. You know, sometimes you aren't that bad, like I can actually stand you for minutes at a time, but then you change around your friends, and go back to being so arrogant. _That's_ why I left." I turned back around and walked away down the cobblestone road, toward the school.


	5. Dear Diary

A/N: wow. I haven't updated in more than a year. I have completely lost interest in this story since I began writing it more than two years ago. I have written a little more than ten chapters and have not finished. At this point in time, finishing it is not even close to the top of my to-do list. My priorities could change later on though. I will add a new chapter every couple of days until all ten are posted and from then on, I'll consider finishing.

I was young and naive when this story began and as I look back on it, most is unoriginal and quite predictable. If I get time or inspiration, I might work on one of my other stories, which also haven't been worked on in forever, and maybe some new ideas will come to me! Keep reviewing, which will remind me to update! Thanks!!

Chapter 5

Dear Diary

I sat up in my bed, listening to my friends sleep. It was a Thursday night and I couldn't sleep. "_Lumos_!" I had something on my mind and I had to get it out. I reached under my pillow and pulled out a green, small book with a golden lock. I quickly unlocked it with a matching golden key that was tied to a green ribbon around my neck. I pulled my quill from a pocket on the back side of the cover and dabbed it into the ink. I began to write.

_Dear Diary,_

_I have something on my mind that just won't seem to leave me alone. It's James Potter. Sometimes, he is so sweet, and I can just see myself falling for him, just like the other girls, but at other times, he can be so arrogant, like nothing has changed. I can't make my mind up about him._

_Yesterday, he stood up for me, from Severus. It went too far, and soon, he was showing off in front of everyone else, once again. When it's just us, he is so different, but when he's around his friends, he's back to his old ways._

_I just had to get that out._

_Love,_

_Lily_

I shut my diary and replaced it back under my pillow. I snuggled down under the covers, and was about to fall asleep, when I heard a small crash. I sat up erect in my bed and stared toward the door. It had come from the Common Room.

I slowly slipped out of bed and felt the cold stone floor beneath my feet. I quietly inched my way in the darkness; towards what I was pretty sure was the door. I groped for the handle, and finally felt it. I opened the door, only to find a small pile of dungbombs. I kicked them down the stairs and slowly followed behind.

I crept silently down, not understanding all of this, until I saw him. James was leaning against the wall, with his hands stuck in his pockets.

"Potter, what's all this about?" I whispered, walking towards him.

"Oh, good, you're awake," was his reply.

"Why were you throwing dungbombs at my door?" I asked curiously.

"I need to show you something. He took my hand and pulled me to the portrait hole. His hand was warm, and I felt my body tingle, yet I pulled away.

"What's this all about?"

"You just really need to see something."

"We'll get caught!"

"No, we won't." He pulled out something from his pocket. It was a blank sheet of parchment. He ruffled his hair and smiled sheepishly at it. I grinned, knowing he couldn't see me; he was so adorable when he did this!

"Is this some kind of joke?" I asked, with a hint of sarcasm.

"_I solemnly swear I'm up to no good_." Instantly, there was a map of Hogwarts in his hand, which had appeared on the parchment. I gasped, and he smiled at my reaction, his eyes glittering.

"Look," he said. "There's no one on this floor." I leaned around his shoulder and noticed he was right.

"Where'd you get that thing?" I asked, astonished.

"Well-I-er-made it. You know, with Padfoot and Moony's help." I understood the nicknames. It was simple for me to figure out with the monthly 'sicknesses' and the secretiveness.

"You made this?" I asked in disbelief, even more so than before. I ran my fingers along the smooth surface of the parchment. I then traced two little figures with my finger, yet I couldn't make out the names. I looked up at James and saw him beaming down at me.

"Okay, let's go." He took my hand again and led me from the room. I followed him down two flights of stairs, down a left corridor, then a right, then another flight of stairs and a sharp right turn. We ended up in front of a classroom.

"James, what-" He put a finger to my lips, telling me to shush. I nodded slightly and he opened the door a crack.

I peeked in and stared in disbelief. Summer Duval was standing there with Brett; their faces squashed up against each others. Brett had been cheating on me; they had been the two dots I couldn't comprehend.

"Keep your tongue in your own mouth, mister!" I screamed. I ran over and smacked his cheek. They both stood gawking at me.

"Lils, I–"

"Don't 'Lils' me! Fifty points from Hufflepuff for sneaking out after hours, and another twenty for two-timing me!"

"You can't do that!" Summer screeched. I glared darkly at her.

"I'm Head Girl, so yes actually, I can." I turned on my heel and dashed out of the room. I ran all the way back to the Common Room, without stopping or slowing down. I plopped onto one of the sofas and just cried.

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I looked up and sniffed.

"Why'd you have to show me that, Potter?" I spat, glaring at him.

"I didn't want you to get hurt." I stared at him in disbelief and he sat down next to me.

"Well, how do you think I feel right now?" I asked coldly, letting a few more tears drop.

He wiped them from my cheek with his thump. "I know you're hurt, but what if you had found out from someone else? I had been trying to get him to fess it up to you, but he wouldn't budge. He didn't like you for you, Lils. He only liked you for your looks I couldn't stand him doing that, so I took action."

"James, next time, stay out of it. All the boys only like me for my looks, so it's nothing new." I sniffled again.

"Not all the boys." He leaned over closer to me.

"Yes, all the boys." He pulled back. "You don't even like me, so why are you doing this? It's just an act, there's no use in hiding it anymore."

"You think this is an act, Lily?" He looked appalled.

"What else, then?" I asked coldly.

"Lily, I've been following you, pestering you, annoying you for the past six years. If I didn't really like you, then what else would it be?" I stared into his hopeful hazel eyes, expecting to find my answer.

"If you do like me, then you're like all the others. You can't see past my looks, into the real me. That's all I've ever wanted; someone who cares about me for me." I had no idea why I was telling this to him, but it felt right.

"Lily, if you just gave me a chance I could show you that I'm that person." I stared at him blankly. I wanted to give him that chance, yet tomorrow he'd be back to the same James Potter we all know and I hate.

"No," I said flatly. I stood and walked to the dormitories, not glancing back once to see him, I didn't want to see him.

The next day I awoke to find a pretty, younger girl staring back at me. I jumped a little, then rubbed my eyes.

"Hey Rachelle," I said groggily and sat up. "What's up?" This was Remus' little sister. She had long straight brown hair and blue eyes that matched her brother's. She was in her fifth year and currently dating Bethany's oldest younger brother, Robbie.

"Well, Robbie said that he was walking by the boy's seventh year dorm, and he heard Sirius shouting at James. Then, Sirius heard Robbie, so he told him to find me, to find you." This girl was the opposite of her brother for one reason; she never stopped talking. Yet, she was just as sweet and good-looking.

"Um… okay. Thanks, Rachelle." I stood up and quickly changed into a jean mini skirt and a white tank top. I walked down the stairs, my bare feet on the cold stones. I glanced up, and sighed. Sirius was standing there, beaming at me.

"What is it, Black?" I asked unemotionally.

"You really didn't have to dress up for dearest Prongs."

"Shut it, Black. Now, why did you need me?"

"Well, James won't get up. I've tried everything but one. That one would be you. You of all people can wake him up. So, if you'd be so kind to follow me."

"What gave you the idea that I agreed?" I asked. He gave me his knee-weakening smile.

"Lily, you can't turn me down, can you?" He gave me puppy dog eyes and a small 'Pretty-Please-With-A-Cherry-On-Top' face.

"Ugh, fine! But you owe me big!" I reluctantly trudged up the stairs and pushed open the first landing's door, labeled 'Seventh Years.' I pushed it open. All of the bed's hangings were shoved back carelessly, except the last bed. The curtains were drawn tightly shut.

I stared for a moment, plotting it. I wanted revenge. What was I gong to do? Really cruel, funny or nice were my options. Hmmm… I decided… none.

I walked over and slowly slid open the hangings, expecting the worst. The covers were pulled firmly over his head. I sighed.

"Potter, wake up!" I yelled. He didn't budge. I yanked the covers off of him, and could see him shiver. He was rolled into a tight ball, with only a pair of sweat pants on. I pushed him over, so he was facing me. His hair was more unruly than ever, if that was possible, and he had an engaging smile placed on his lips. I sighed and remembered what I had to do. I shoved him over and with a loud 'BANG,' he laid sprawled out on his back, on the floor.

"Padfoot, what the-" He opened his eyes and rubbed the back of his head. "Hey, Lils. Finally decided to-"

"Shut it, Potter. Sirius told me to get you up. Now that I've done my job…" I walked to the door and slammed it behind me.

Twenty minutes later, I sat with Shae at the breakfast table. Kristina had gone to practice some Quidditch drills and Bethany was off with Remus somewhere. We were laughing together as I recounted the morning's 'incident.'

"And then, I slammed the door, and-"

"Helloooo ladies." I swirled around to see the two inseparables behind me.

"What do you want, Potter?" I asked icily, not welcoming him in the slightest.

"Just to see my Lily Flower." I rolled my eyes.

"Let's go outside, Shae." She nodded and followed my quick footsteps towards the lake on the grounds.

"Lily, what was that all about?"

"He just _really_ gets on my nerves."

"I don't think so," Shae insisted, with a smile tugging on the corners of her mouth.

"Shut it."

"Ooh, a little cranky on the subject, aren't we?"

"Shae!" She gave me a look and I sighed. "I don't know, but sometimes, yeah, I think I've had a crush on him all these years; but at other times, I'm positive its hate and annoyance jumbled into one."

We walked forward to the edge of the lake. I took off my shoes and began to twirl my toes in the cool water, when I realized Shae staring at me.

"What?!" I asked guiltily.

"I knew it! I knew it all along!" she yelled. She then started to do a jig, but stopped instantly for some unknown reason to me. Two strong arms lifted me then tossed me into the air. I toppled over into the icy water. I came up, gasping for air and looked into the eyes of the accused.

"JAMES PATRICK POTTER!" I screamed, kicking furiously to stay afloat. He cringed at the public use of his middle name, but still laughed at me. I heard a frustrated cry from beside me. Shae was bobbing in the water too.

"SIRIUS! YOU RUINED MY HAIR AND CLOTHES!" She screamed, even louder than I did. I giggled and then noticed Sirius was standing on shore, laughing hard and clutching his side. Just then, I noticed that my hair and clothes were also completely drenched.

I swam angrily for shore, and as soon as I pulled myself up, I saw the terrified look on James's face. Good, he _should_ be scared. I bolted after him and saw Shae do the same towards Sirius.

After minutes of sprinting around the grounds after him, I stopped for air. I breathed heavily, and saw James stop a few feet ahead and smirk. Bloody Quidditch players.

"Had enough?" he asked. Reluctantly, I nodded slightly, and he kept grinning. He smiled wider and walked over to me. "Good. Now, how about going to the Ball with me?" He was dangerously close, only inches from me. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

I stared in cynicism. "ARE YOU INSANE? You throw me into the lake and expect me to go out with you? Yeah bloody right!"

I squirmed out of his grasp and stomped towards the castle. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Shae grinning and nodding at Sirius. Bloody blondes.

I was once again sitting up in my bed, hugging my knees. As soon as I heard the snoring coming from all angles of the room, I picked up my diary and walked to the window. I sat in the armchair and wrote, pausing every now and again to stare at the crescent moon shining down as my light.

_Dear Diary,_

_He did it again. He was a complete prat, and pushed me into the lake, then he asked me to the Ball. He has some nerve._

_When I was with Shae, standing by the water, I realized for the first time, I like James Potter. Yes, you understood me correctly, even though it may be hard to believe. I wanted so badly to accept his invitation to the Halloween Ball, yet I didn't. My reputation is at stake. It seems stupid, I know, but I think it's for the best._

_Love,_

_Lily_


	6. Halloween Ball

Chapter 6

The Halloween Ball

We all stood in front of the bathroom mirror, perfecting our looks. My hair was tied into a loose bun at the top of my head, with one strand hanging in front of my eyes. I tried to pull it back, but I finally realized that it was too short. I then moved on to applying even more lip gloss, seeing if it was possible. Just then, there was a knock at the door and we all glanced over to it.

"Yeah?" Shae asked, turning back to the mirror and applying more mascara. I rolled my eyes at her, then turned back to the door. Rachelle Lupin stood there, looking sweet in her little angel costume.

"Aw! You look so cute, Rachelle!" Bethany exclaimed, even though she was only two years younger than us. "My brother is going to love you." Rachelle blushed a little. I thought of Robbie Knapp, Bethany's younger brother who looked exactly like her.

"Thanks! You all look so great!" she said, stepping back to look at all of us at the same time. "Well, I just came up here to tell you that all of the Marauders are waiting for you. You are so lucky to have them as your boyfriends!" Rachelle smiled, looking as giddy as a seven year old. "Well, except you, Bethany. How can you stand my brother?" Bethany gave her a fake 'I'm-so-hurt-that-you-said-that' look.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't go around dating all of the boys like them, or you'll end up like Lily and Shae," Kristina laughed. Shae and I both spun around and glared at her, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

"Tell them that we'll meet them at the ball. We want to make an entrance with an impact," Shae said. We all laughed, then turned back to the mirror.

About ten minutes later, we all stood out of the Great Hall, wanting to make our exciting entrances. Luckily, I had dibbed the last spot, about a week ago, so we waited for the students' reactions. We entered one at a time, all dressed as the same theme; reflecting either our personalities, or something to do with us.

First, it was Kristina, dressed as 'Miss Told.' She wore a lavender dress that went to the floor with her sash over one shoulder. The top wrapped around on one side and was spaghetti strapped, while the bottom had two small ruffles that went to an upside down 'V' in the center; making it slightly shorter.

Next, Bethany walked in as 'Miss Taken.' Her dress was a neon pink color and fit her form greatly. The bottom was at a diagonal and the top criss-crossed around her body. It was a halter top and the dress made her hair look darker as it bounced when she walked.

Shaylene then walked in, with an applause that I could hear through the large oak doors. She was 'Miss Understood' and in an aqua old-style dress. It went a few inches above her knees, and was also a spaghetti strap. The top was like a corset, as the skirt was a thick petticoat that belled out from her skinny legs. She wore matching shoes that laced up her calves. I peeked through the doors and saw that she walked next to Sirius, who was standing with the rest of my friends and the Marauders. James stood alone, bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for me.

I sighed, then walked in last, to many gasps, then a large applause. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I twirled once for them, giggling freely. My sash read 'Miss Treated' and I was in a bright green dress that was to the floor, and really brought out the color of my eyes. My top wrapped over on one side and was a halter. The skirt of the dress was a mini, with about one hundred skinny, long slits of fabric that fell to the floor. They showed my long legs when I walked. I smiled again, then ran to my friends who stood waiting for me.

We had decided on a theme that was sort of like from a muggle's pageant, or something. Bethany had come up with the brilliant idea, being muggle-born, just like me. We had all decided on our titles, then bewitched the material to make our dresses.

"Lily, you look great," James said, smiling wide. He looked very charming in his black tuxedo, since his friends had given up on ideas, and just gone as our escorts. I rolled my eyes, then halted.

"What did you call me?" I asked, trying to comprehend.

"Lily… that's your name," he laughed. I smiled awkwardly and turned back to my friends.

Sirius was busy complementing Shae, and Remus was commenting on how short Bethany's dress was. I rolled my eyes and smiled, thanking God that Kristina didn't have a boyfriend, so I wouldn't be stuck with Potter the whole night.

Just as my thoughts had perked up, Kristina waved to someone over my shoulder. "Who's that?" I asked, getting worried.

"Oh, that's my date, Scott Hyden. Well, I'll see you two later." My eyes grew wide and I turned back to James. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was rocking from his heels to his toes. Even Peter was gone, most likely, James had told him to get lost.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Evans," he said, stepping closer to me. He was only a foot away, now. I could feel his breath beating on my cheeks warmly. I stepped far away from him and walked to the end of the dance floor, hoping to be asked to dance.

After about two songs, I had the boys swarming over me. I gave James a little "Ta-ta," and a small wave of my hand. I walked off with a seventh year Ravenclaw to the dance floor. We danced together for a song, then I began to get tired of him. I slowly danced around the room, not giving a care to any of the people seeing me without a partner.

The DJ continued to play many songs as I twirled partner-less around the dance floor, giggling crazily. I walked to the refreshment table, after about a half hour, but as soon as I spotted James coming near me, I jumped back onto the dance floor. This happened more times than once.

Before I knew it, the last song was playing. It was a slow song, by a popular muggle band and I swayed to the beat from the side lines, not daring enough to dance a slow song without a partner, unless I was with one of my friends. The dance floor was unusually empty, but I shrugged it off, completely. Unfortunately, my friends hadn't said one word to me all night, and were busy talking to their dates.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned around. "Potter, I already told you…" Professor McGonagall was staring at me. "Oh, sorry Professor. I didn't know it was you." I smiled sheepishly, but she chose to ignore it.

"Ms. Evans, as I'm sure you know, the last dance is saved for the Head Boy and Girl." She pushed me towards James as I moaned. I had been dreading this.

"Lily, would you like to dance?" he asked, taking my hand in his. Like I had a choice. I sighed, but followed him onto the floor. He held me tightly against him. I could feel his heart rapidly beating. I looked up into his hazel eyes, seeing them smiling at me, in their own way. His lips curled up into an ideal smile and I smiled back, without meaning to. I had my arms around the nape of his neck, so I was stuck staring into his deep, warm, inviting, perfect… NO! I quickly told myself not to think that.

I knew that he was changed, no matter how much I tried to convince myself he wasn't. I knew that he had stolen a part of my heart, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that he hadn't. I sighed, losing myself in his eyes.

_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning_

I stared into James's hazel eyes and began to melt. I gave a small smile, then brought my glance to the floor, wanting to get lost in his warm eyes, yet preventing myself.

_I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

I couldn't help but notice that this song had so well described James. He had changed so much, and the rest of the Marauders had engraved it into my mind that he did it for me. They may only have been hinting it, but it could _not_ have been anymore obvious to me. __

I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

The song ended and everyone clapped for us. I blushed a little, then pulled away from James. James Potter had made me blush, and for once, it wasn't because of a prank.

"Okay, now everyone up to your dorms. Time to sleep," McGonagall said.

"I hope you all had a nice time," I called after the leaving students. It was the Heads' job to clean up after the Balls.

I looked around to see that James and I were the only ones who were in the Great Hall. I sighed quietly and began to take down the decorations with a few perfected spells. I glanced around once more, and James was walking towards me. I couldn't hide it anymore; my heart fluttered a little as he smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Lily… can I talk to you?" he asked, taking my hand.

"Um… sure James, what is it?" I asked, trying to subside my emotions.

"You called me James." He smiled wider at the new improvement. "Well, Lily… I just wanted to say… to say…"

"What, James?" He sighed heavily.

"I can't put it into words," he tried to explain.

"Okay… then show me some other way." My eyes grew wide when I realized what I had just told him. He smiled mischievously and pulled me closer. I could feel his breath on me. He was close, too close. His eyes danced madly. I could see his hazel eyes draw closer and closer, then shut.

Our lips touched and I tried to hide my surprise. My stomach did a few back flips as my body tingled. Unconsciously, I rapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him back. I pulled away, once I realized what was really going on, and that this was no longer my perfect fairytale.

I could see 'DISAPOINTMENT' written all over his face. I stared at him in disbelief; he had never tried to kiss me in all of these years. I couldn't let him do this to me, not like all of the other girls. I was different and I was going to make that engraved into his mind, if it took me until the end of time. I was the first girl to ever turn down James Patrick Potter.

"James…" I said. I felt a single tear roll down the side of my face.

"I'm so sorry. Lily…" Suddenly, I felt many others threatening to fall. I rushed out and ran up the marble staircases, not stopping until I had reached the Common Room.

All my tears were now openly streaming down my pale skin. I tried to run up to my dormitory, but Sirius had jumped in front of me.

"Lils, what happened?" he genuinely asked.

"J… Jam… James," I managed to mutter. He was too muscular, so I had no hope of getting to my room any time soon. I rushed to my favorite armchair and sat with my knees pulled into my chest, trying to calm down.

The portrait hole swung open and I knew exactly who it was. I didn't even dare look up. I heard him solemnly march up his staircase, then Sirius bound after him.

A few minutes later, I was still sitting in my favorite arm hair, my eyes closed and pressed up against my knees. I was just breathing gently, thinking of what just happened. I heard someone sit down on the arm of the chair, so I opened my eyes. I sighed at who it was.

"Hey, Sirius," I said, then I closed my eyes again. He just sighed and I could tell he was staring intently at me. "What?" I asked, looking straight into his eyes.

"Lily, are you that blind?" he asked, giving me a quizzical look, which made me look into my lap.

"What are you talking about?"

"Lils, can't you see how he feels? It's all he talks about." I looked back at him.

"Listen, Sirius. I know he doesn't feel like that. The way he treats all of the other girls is the same way he'll end up treating me, if I give in. I don't want to be hurt. My eyes are wide… wide…."

"Shut. Your eyes are shut, Lily. He _really_ cares about you, and if you don't see that then I don't know what to say." He left me there, thinking, as he walked back up the stairs to the boy's dormitories. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There was nothing I could do, now. I walked to my dormitory and slowly cried myself to sleep.


	7. Dreaming of You

**A/N: Review please? I've been thinking of continuing this story instead of posting all I have then turning it over to someone else / putting it on hiatus. School starts tomorrow so my summer homework is done and I'll have more free time. Weird, right? Less free time in summer haha.**

**Anyways, please review with either suggestions, critiques, or just a few words of praise! (yeah right)**

Chapter 7

Dreaming Of You

I woke the next morning with the sunlight shining through my bed curtains. I slowly pulled the blankets off of me. I felt so terrible. But why?

Then it hit me. What happened last night… with James and Sirius. Great.

I walked into the bathroom and found no one else in the room. I shrugged it off and put a hand on each side of the sink. I glanced into the mirror at my horrid reflection.

I looked like a mess. There were black circles under my eyes, my hair was standing on end, and my eyes were bloodshot. Oh joy!

Ugh. I splashed water on my face and began to hurry the process of getting ready for class. Thirty minutes later, I was back to my normal self with a fake smile on my face. I walked down to the Great Hall, wondering where Shae, Kristina, and Bethany were, since they weren't in the room or Common Room.

I walked through the open door and quickly walked to the Gryffindor table, searching for my friends. Then I spotted them, laughing and talking… with the Marauders. I groaned and slowly walked to the end of the table; which was luckily empty, leaving my friends to give me weird looks and wondering why I wasn't sitting with them.

After a few minutes of staring blankly at my plate and prodding the small portion of food with my fork, someone tapped my shoulder. I slowly whirled around to see Shaylene.

"Lily, what's wrong? Why are you sitting over here when we saved you a seat?" she asked, taking a seat next to me. I shrugged.

"Nothing. I –er- just thought you guys were talking to them, so I –er- came here," I replied stupidly. Shae knew me only too well.

"Lily, you're being stupid. Even if that was true – which it's not – you could have joined our conversation."

"Ugh. Just – forget it." I stood up to leave. "I'm gong to Transfiguration, you coming?" She gave me one last weird look, then rose to my side.

Ten minutes later, class began, yet Professor McGonagall wasn't there. I looked around the class, and my eyes fell on a certain black haired boy. He was bent over a sheet of parchment, writing furiously. I returned my glance to my desk, right when the Professor entered.

"Good morning, class. I apologize for the tardiness, but today, you will be having a free period, since I must attend important matters." Everyone cheered loudly and began to pack up once again. "Oh, Potter, Evans, I need to speak to you."

I felt a golf ball sized lump in my throat. I slowly walked up to her desk and waited for the others to quickly filter from the room.

"Yes, Professor?" I asked, clasping my hands together from my nerves. I looked sideways at James who was quickly folding up his piece of parchment that he had been scribbling on earlier. I rolled my eyes; probably another plan for pranks.

"Well, Professor Flitwick and I have been called upon for the week, for assistance to the Headmaster. Since you two are wonderful students in these subjects. Head Boy and Girl, and since we had no other choices… Professor Dumbledore wanted you both to teach these classes. You'll be exempt from you other classes. Miss Evans, you will be teaching Charms, and Mister Potter, you will be teaching my class, as much as I hate to let it go."

When she saw our blank and surprised looks, she continued. "When you have classes off, you will be joining one another, helping with their class. It begins tomorrow, so good luck to both of you. You're dismissed."

I stared in disbelief, then unfroze myself from that spot. I turned slowly away, and walked to the door, with James at my side.

After he closed the door behind us, he said, "I wasn't expecting that," he said. I glared darkly at him, then turned on my heel and stormed off to the next class.

I sat in my dormitory, trying to finish some last minute homework. I glanced up when I saw the other girls come in. Shae dramatically dropped onto her bed with a large sigh. She groaned loudly as she took out her books, starting her work.

"Lily? Do you have an extra quill?" she asked, still taking out her books.

I began rummaging through all the pockets in my robes. I pulled out a new quill and tossed it to her. When I lay back down on my stomach, there was a crinkling. I reached into my pocket once again, to pull out a nicely folded sheep of parchment.

_Dear Lily,_

_We _really _need to talk. Please,_ please, _meet me in the Common Room at nine. It would _really _mean a lot to me if we could just talk about everything._

_Love From James_

Why did everything have to be so hard for me? It was all so confusing. I gave the sheet of parchment one last weird look, then shoved it in the drawer of my bedside table.

"What's that?" Bethany asked me, coming to sit on the floor between Shae's bed and my own. Kristina followed her, with all her books in hand; it was a tradition to do our homework together.

"Oh, just a note," I replied, turning back to my work.

"From James?" My head spun around to her so fast that it cracked. I began to rub it with the palm of my hand as I replied.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know?"

They all exchanged nervous looks with one another. "Um, lucky guess," Kristina lied. I could tell in her eyes; she always was the worst at lying. I raised my eyebrows at them, until Shae spoke up.

"Fine, Lily. Sirius told us what happened last night and how James wanted to talk to you in private."

"HE TOLD YOU?" I shrieked, jumping up from my bed. I glared down at Kristina. "You tell one person, and I'll kill you!" I pointed a shaky finger at her.

"Whoa! Lily, calm down! I won't tell a soul. Just go down there and talk to him"

"Sirius only told us, so we could get you to talk to him," Shae said. "James has been moping around all day muttering, 'She hates me' over and over again."

"Well, since when have I ever liked him?!" I yelled, my infamous temper quickly rising. "He shouldn't waste his time!"

"Lily! You're being stubborn!" Bethany yelled back at me, her temper rising to meet mine. She rarely got angry, but when she does, stay away.

"Maybe I am, but it doesn't make a difference! I'm not going down there, anyways!" I jumped back onto my bed and slammed the curtains closed. They wobbled a bit, as I looked down at my wristwatch; I was 'supposed' to meet James right now.

Hmff. There was no way I was talking to him. He goes and tells the world what happened, trying to boost his popularity. He kissed me after six years of struggling to get me to say one word to him. There was no way he actually wanted to 'talk about it.' He only wanted another kiss so everyone could see, just like the old big-headed James would have. It was stupid of me to think he had changed.

I heard the three others sigh at my 'ignorance' and stand. "We better go tell him," I heard Bethany whisper.

I pushed my books off the side of my bed, not bothering to clean up my completed work, which was a first. I lay my head on the cold pillow and reluctantly fell into a confusing dreamful sleep, still dressed in my robes.

_I sat on the shoreline of a large, beautiful beach, with my head in someone else's lap. He spoke softly, and his voice made me smile._

_"So what should we name him?" he asked. I looked up into his deep hazel eyes._

_"I don't know. Whatever we decide upon will be perfect, though," I said involuntarily. He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my forehead._

_"How about… James?" he asked. I laughed a little as he put a hand to my pregnant stomach._

_"Perfect for you, but let's keep James as his middle name. I can't really picture a James Jr. running around." I giggled a bit._

_"Fine, what about… Patrick, or Jason, or Matthew, or Harry, or-"_

_"Yes," I said, and kissed his cheek gently._

_"Yes what?" he asked confusedly. I smiled wide, my eyes glittering._

_"Harry James Potter, son of Lily and James Potter." His smile grew immensely._

_"Harry it is."_

I smiled in my sleep and rolled over.

_I sat alone in the Common Room. I was sitting in front of the warm fire, with my hands pressed hard against my eyes. I was crying helplessly, until a strong hand pressed gently on my shoulder._

_I choked back my tears for a moment, my eyes bloodshot and visible for a short second. "Get away from me, Potter!" I spat, and shrugged his hand off of my own. I stood up and began to dash towards my dorm, when he pulled me back._

_"Lily, you _have_ to listen to me!" he said desperately, clinging onto my forearm. "It just saw you with him, and I got jealous! I just reacted wrongly! He explained everything to me! I would never hurt you!"_

_I glared at him, and pulled away forcefully. "Well, you just did, and now, you won't be able to ever again. James Potter, I never want to see you again!"_

Once again, I rolled over in my sleep, yet this time, I was uncomfortable with all the dreams.

Once again, I had that dream. I was in the same house, with the same messy-haired, green-eyed baby, with the same killing of James, and the same beady red eyes coming for my son.

I woke up, right as the last green light hit my chest. I was panting heavily, with sweat dripping down my forehead. Three weird dreams, right after one another. Three random dreams, with only one thing in common… James and I.

I looked at my wristwatch to see it was three in the morning. There was no way I could go back to sleep, and it was extremely chilly in the dormitory. I took a deep breath and slowly pulled back the bed hangings to see three sleeping figures in their proper beds. I pulled on a pair of pajamas, since I was still dressed in robes, then I wrapped my arms around me.

I slowly walked to the Common Room; I'd be able to think near the warmth of the fire. I halted, though, when I suddenly heard voices coming from the room that I was about to enter.

"Why doesn't she like me like every other girl in this bloody school?" asked one familiar voice. I strained harder to hear their full conversation.

"Seriously? I don't know, mate. But that's why you like her… isn't it? Isn't it because she doesn't fall all over you for your looks and charm like every other girl in this 'bloody school'? Isn't it because you actually have to work for this girl?"

"Padfoot, just shut it."

"No, Prongs. I want to know why you like her so much, even though she completely despises you."

"I… I… I like her because she's different from everyone else. Sure, she's beautiful, smart, nice, funny… but that's not the point. Whenever I look at her, my heart rushes, my throat closes up, and I just can't bring my eyes to anywhere but where she is."

"Mate, you're hopelessly in love." I looked down at my feet, it wasn't hopeless for him. I would have to tell him soon… as soon as I could; the dreams would have to wait until I did.


	8. Giving In To Him

Chapter 8

Giving In To Him

The rest of the night I had been lying on my bed, staring at the white ceiling and thinking of how I was going to do this. It was morning now, so I dragged myself out of bed and to the bathroom. I quickly splashed my face with icy cold water, and got dressed.

A few minutes later I was sitting in the Common Room, waiting for the others to come down. Finally, Shae lead Bethany and Kristina down the stairs and I ran over to them.

"Listen, guys, I'm so sorry about last night. I was being too hard on you, when there was nothing to get mad about." I stared at their shocked faces for a moment; willing them to answer.

"Its okay, Lily. Wow, you've never apologized after only one night!" Shae laughed.

"Lily, sometimes you're so stubborn. I swear, if you ever have kids, they'll get your stubbornness; it never seems to diminish," Bethany said. She laughed a little, then pulled me into a hug. I laughed along with her, since she was completely true.

"Oh, I got all caught up with everything yesterday, so I forgot to tell you…" I paused for a moment, and watched their anticipation build up.

"What?!" Kristina asked, biting her lower lip and raising her eyebrows.

"I have to teach all the Charms classes for the next week!" I shrieked excitedly.

"Why?!" Bethany asked, jumping up and down with the rest of us.

"Well, Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick have to do something for Professor Dumbledore, so she asked us to teach their classes!"

"Who's… 'us?'

"Oh, James is teaching Transfiguration." They all squealed as I laughed at their reaction.

"We get to have a Transfiguration class with one of the most gorgeous guys in school, then a Charms class with our best friend?!" Kristina bellowed. I laughed a little as she said, "This week is going to be heaven."

"You shouldn't be saying anything! You're dating Scott Hyden who isn't too bad himself," Shae began. We all looked at her like she was nuts.

"SHAE! You're dating _Sirius_!" Kristina exclaimed. We all laughed at her as we began to make our way to breakfast.

Luckily, I didn't have a first class, so I was obliged to sit through Transfiguration with James. I took a seat in the back row as he began the lesson.

"Okay, as you all know, I will be schooling you on Transfiguration this week, while Evans is taking the Charms classes," he said, his eyes reaching every persons' but my own, since he skipped over me coldly.

"Today, we will be switching the species of animals. Now, just flick your wand like this," he said, demonstrating carefully. "And the incantation is '_Spiamente_.' Now, come to the front and quickly select your animal, so we may begin." He waved his hand at many large cages that stood at the front of the room, with various animals standing inside.

I quietly walked to the front of the room and selected a beautiful white cockatoo, since it was my favorite animal, right after stags. I then returned to my seat next to Shaylene and sat down.

After three tries, I successfully turned my cockatoo into a wonderful light brown stag. I beamed at my work, especially when I noticed I was the only one besides James who had done so. Seconds later, Sirius began to howl with laughter.

I glanced over at him and glared when I noticed he was staring in my direction. James was sitting right next to him, becoming bored while watching the rest of the class try to perform the spell.

"Pr… Prongs," Sirius managed to gasp in between laughter. "Evans… Evans has a thing for stags, did you notice?" He laughed loudly. I looked at him confusedly then at James. His smile grew larger and he chuckled a bit.

"Not all stags," I heard him mumble right before he called out to the class. "Okay, time's up. Nice trying, everyone. We'll do this again on Friday, hopefully at least one person will get it."

"Lily got it," Shae said aloud.

"Well, good for her," he replied coldly. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked over to him as the classroom emptied. Soon, only James, Sirius, and I were left.

"Um, Sirius… can I have a word with James?" I asked shyly.

"Sure," he replied and kept smiling at me.

"No, I mean can I speak to James alone?" I asked annoyed.

"Sure," he replied once again, without moving.

"No, Sirius. I mean, can I speak to James alone, now?"

"Listen, Lily, this isn't the best time, plus, you're going to be late for your next class." I sighed heavily and walked from the room.

The lessons passed by slowly and soon, I was sitting in the Common Room with a book in my lap, and my eyes slowly closing from drowsiness. I glanced up as I saw James walk in, followed by Sirius. They began to make their way up to their dorm, coming from Quidditch practice.

I jumped up from the couch, my tired eyes washed away, and raced over to him. I was about to dash up the stairs, when Sirius held me back.

"Lily, I don't think you should do that," he said, pulling me back to the Common Room.

"Sirius, I need to. I have to talk to him," I said desperately, trying to fight my way through his strong grip.

"Lily, he's still moping from what happened Sunday, so being his best friend, I don't want you to make it any worse." I stopped struggling and looked up at him.

"Listen, I'm trying to talk to James, and if you don't let me, I will hex you into next week. So, I suggest you get out of my way." He looked taken back for a moment, and loosened his grip on my arm, so I took the chance and pushed past him.

"_Tarantallegra_!" I screamed, as I pointed my wand at Sirius' legs. They immediately broke out into a tap dancing frenzy; I was well known for my long lasting tapping spells. I raced up the staircase to the seventh year dormitory and knocked.

"Come in," I heard James call from the other side. I opened the door and was glad to see that Peter and Remus were gone. James sighed as he saw me come in.

"Listen James, we should talk about what happened. I'm really sorry for not showing up last night. I really needed to sort some things out." James glanced up at me.

"Lily," he sighed. "All I wanted to say was that I'm not sorry for what happened after the Ball. I meant it, Lily. That one kiss was magical, well for me at least. I don't think I'll ever be able to see you the same way, or kiss any other girl. Lily, I know that we were meant for each other." I started to melt into his hazel eyes that I could tell were on the verge of tearing. I had never seen James cry, and I didn't want to now.

"James," I said, stepping forward closer to him, so we were only inches apart. "I felt it too. That's why I came to talk to you. I noticed that I had always felt something for you, and I always will." I pulled even closer and kissed him gently.

The door burst open, and I reluctantly pulled away from his silky lips, to turn and see who it was. Sirius was standing in the doorway, with Remus right behind him.

"Padfoot, get out," James said forcefully.

"She was about to kill you, and now you're telling me to leave?!" Sirius exclaimed, completely dumbfounded. "You should have seen the murderous look she gave me!"

I laughed a little. "Exactly, Sirius. I gave _you_ the murderous look, since you wouldn't let me see James."

"Pad, Moony, just leave for a minute. We were in the middle of something," James said, smiling down at me. I felt my cheeks get hot, and I smiled weakly. Sirius gave us a quizzical look, then stepped back when Remus had shut the door.

"Now, where were we?" James asked playfully. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer. I slung my arms around the nape of his neck and kissed him softly. He kissed me back, and after what seemed like an eternity, yet was only seconds, we pulled away. "Lily, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked shyly.

My smile grew and I blushed once more. "Of course." I kissed his cheek and walked from the room, giving Sirius and Remus a small wave before exiting down the staircase to my own room.

The next morning I sat at breakfast with James on one side of me, and Shae on the other. A smile was delicately placed on my lips; the first in a long time. I rested my head on James' shoulder and sighed, ignoring the looks from the others until Sirius loudly cleared his throat.

"Um… you guys are…?" he half asked, still shoving food in his face.

"Yeah… Lily and I are finally a pair," James answered. I smiled wider at the sound of this, just as we were about to leave for class. Luckily, I had seventh years first and James had no class.

We stood together and James and I walked hand in hand to the Charms room. He kissed my forehead as he took a seat in the back row and I continued to the desk.

I dropped my bag onto the table, then turned to the class of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. "Okay, class," I beamed as they went silent. "Today, we'll be working on freezing charms. Pick an animate object and turn it to a block of ice, by saying, 'Frios.'" I demonstrated quickly then motioned for everyone to follow my example.

Everything was wonderful. I had taught Charms classes for a whole week, which I had been considering as a job, after I graduate, and I had the man of my dreams… _literally. _Everything was perfect for me. Well, that was until a Sunday night, two weeks later, and at the end of November.

It was already snowing outside, so the eight of us were sitting close to the fire. Bethany and Remus were quietly debating about some homework, while Sirius and Shae were having a competitive game of wizard's chess. Peter and Kristina were watching excitedly and I was sitting on James' lap; both watching the hysterical game. James' arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, so I could feel every breath he took.

I smiled down at Shae who was sitting on the floor with an evil grin on her face. She had never lost a game and I didn't expect that to end anytime soon. She was about to win the game, when I began to feel cold.

I wrapped James' arms tighter around me and leaved back into him for warmth. For some reason, I was freezing. Then, tiredness swept over me, even though I had been fine seconds before. I reluctantly shut my eye lids and appeared somewhere else.

_I carefully walked down a black hallway towards a faint light at the end. I tip-toed down, realizing voices were near the light. I poked my head inside, to see a throne-like chair in front of a blazing fireplace._

_I stepped around to the front of it, being as cautious as I possibly could. All that I saw in the chair was a hooded figure in pitch-black robes. I stared for a moment, then found myself glad it couldn't see me._

_The figure slowly raised its head and all I could see in the darkness of his outline, were two dark green eyes. I gasped and fell back when he began to speak in an eerie voice._

"_I finally have it," he spoke, his voice like venom to me. He stood up and I could see his snake-like body walk towards the fireplace. "Lord Voldemort is about to be at rise, but I first must kill off his Mudblood girlfriend."_

_His eye color then changed to a blood red and he let out an evil cackle. I shrieked and fell to the floor in the pain it brought to my heart._

My eyes flickered open as I stared into the bright light; that was a dramatic change from what I was previously experiencing. My whole body was covered in a glossy sweat and my heart was pounding fast. It was just a dream.

I looked around at my surroundings to find it all white. I sat up in the bed, and remembered I had been in the Common Room at night, when I fell asleep. It was a Sunday night… today, I was supposed to have class!

As I started to get out of bed, a hand pushed me back down. The nurse, Madame Knapp was standing over me, smiling.

"At last, child! You're awake!" she said joyously. I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Why wouldn't I be? It _is_ morning. I don't know why I'm here, but I do know that I have to get to class," I said, my temper rising because I had no intentions, what so ever, of being late.

"Oh, no you don't. You've been in here for three days. You're not going to class until I permit it. Now, drink up," Madame Knapp replied, shoving about twenty different potions at me. I was here for how long?! I missed three days of class. Smashing. Wait… how'd I get here?

"Um, Madame? How and why am I here?" I asked politely, and slowly sipping the nasty potions one by one.

"Oh, that lovely Potter boy brought you here. You were as cold as ice; trembling and screaming in your sleep." I gave her a shocked look. "Listen, dear, I don't know the whole story, but classes end in minutes, so he will be up here soon, just like everyday you've been in here."

I smiled warmly to myself and sat up taller. I pulled the blankets up higher and waited impatiently for his arrival.

After what seemed like hours, the doors flew open violently and James came dashing in. He smiled brightly as I sat up even higher. He pulled me into a firm hug, and I felt his heart rapidly beating, just as fast as my own.

"Lils, are you okay? You had me worried sick!" he said, holding my hand in his and gently rubbing his thumbs in circled on my knuckles.

"I'm feeling much better," I said, just taking in the warmth of his eyes. "James, what happened to me?"

"Well…" he trailed off, trying to remember. "We were watching Sirius and Shae's game, and I felt you go cold. I put my hand to your cheek, and could feel you trembling. You barely had a heartbeat and you started to scream, all while you were asleep, I guess. I brought you here right away and you've been here ever since."

"Oh," I said quietly, trying to comprehend. "Do you know why?"

"No, but Dumbledore thinks he knows, even though he won't tell anyone. He just wanted to see you once you were awake."

"Okay, I have a faint idea, but I'd like to confirm it with him before I really have to think about it." He gave me a loving smile and hugged me tight.

Professor Dumbledore came in right then and I reluctantly let go of James. He stood from my side and left, as the Headmaster made his way over.

"Miss Evans, I suspect you know what all this is," he said softly as he stood beside my bed. I nodded. "Well, then you know that you're having premonitions."

"Yes, but the only thing that I don't understand is if they all true? I mean, surely they can't be…"

The Headmaster held his hand up, to silence me. "I'm positive, Miss Evans, they are. Premonitions let you see things that are happening in the present, or the future. You have been given a special gift, Miss Evans."

He walked out to leave me clueless. Pfft, a gift. More like torture.

I quickly changed out of my hospital gown and ran out of the Hospital Wind and towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

Over the next few days, most people kept their distance from me, including James. It turned out that Sirius had told the entire school what happened to me. Great friend he is.

I entered the Great Hall on the Saturday after my newly found 'gift.' It was a Hogsmeade day, luckily, so I could get away from all the people suffocating me. James hadn't bothered to ask me, and I had barely said two words from him since I got back from the Hospital Wing.

I silently sat by Shae, who was animatedly whispering to Sirius across from her. I caught a few words like, "Lily," and "Three Broomsticks," and "Squeeze it out of her." I sighed, dully announcing my presence.

Their whispering ceased, but I already knew they were talking about me. So was everyone else in this bloody school.

"Hi guys," I said while moodily poking some eggs. "I don't think I'm going to Hogsmeade today. I just want some time alone in the Common Room."

Shae glanced wearily at Sirius, then turned back to me. "Lily, it'll do you good to get out of the castle." I sighed heavily.

"I _really _don't want to."

"Lily, we're not taking 'no' for an answer," Sirius cut in. "I'll carry you there if I have to." I rolled my eyes, realizing he probably would.

Ugh I just needed time to think to myself. I needed to find a way to tell James. I really cared for him, so he should be the first to know. I needed to talk to him about it, and make him listen.

Soon enough I went out into the Entrance Hall and climbed into a crowded carriage, complete with all four Marauders and my three best friends.

I quietly stared out the window, and could feel eyes on my back. I quickly turned to see warm hazel eyes looking at me with loneliness. I smiled weakly then returned to watching the blurry figures roll by.

"Lileeeee," Shae whined. I rolled my eyes. She was such a good whiner.

"What?" I carelessly asked. She and Sirius had a plan going. I wasn't stupid, and it wasn't that hard to see. I might as well go along with it.

"Can we go to Honeydukes, then the Quidditch surplus store, then the Three Broomsticks?" she asked, giving me her puppy dog eyes with her lower lip sticking out and quivering. Ugh Bethany always did that, too. It was like a plan to slowly kill me and make me cave into their every whim.

"Fine," I sighed. It always got me, no matter what.

The horseless carriage soon rolled to a stop and I climbed out. I stepped onto the cobblestone road and smiled. Hogsmeade was the best.

Before I knew it, it was two in the afternoon and I was sitting alone with Shaylene and Sirius at the Three Broomsticks. They had planned it out perfectly, which was rare for them. Remus and Bethany probably helped them.

Kristina had to spend extra time in the Quidditch store, picking out a new broom, and James was helping her. Remus and Bethany went off to the bookstore while Peter waddled after them.

I took a silent slurp of my butterbeer and looked up at them. I saw them both staring at me intently. "What?!" I snapped, obviously annoyed.

"Well, Lily…" Shae began, while searching for the correct words.

"Lily, you've been really secluded after what happened last week. We want to know what happened." I so knew this was coming.

"I really don't want to talk about it right now."

Sirius rolled his eyes at me, then smirked. "Lily, we do not care if you want to talk about it or not. You're going to tell someone today."

"Lily, James is worried sick about you right now. He at least has the right to know," Shae said while taking another sip.

"If he's so worried, then why doesn't he talk to me?" I asked quietly.

"He thinks it had something to do with him. He was right there with you when you began to scream like a murderer was after you. He doesn't want you to be hurt again so he's staying away. It's complete ignorance."

"Lily," Sirius cut in again. "Everyday he tells me how much he loves you and how it's killing him to be apart. Lily, he's going to explode soon if you don't tell him."

"You don't have to tell us what happened. Just tell him," Shae said seriously. I've never seen them be so serious for so long. It was probably killing them inside.

"Fine," I gave up, throwing up my hands in defeat. "I'll talk to him."

"Well, go then!" Shae laughed. I knew she couldn't hold it. "That's what we've been saying for the past half hour!"

"Now?" I asked nervously. My stomach jumped.

"Yes, now! Go!"

I hastily stood and walked from the restaurant. As I threw open the doors, I ran right into James. Yes! I didn't have to search for him.

"Sorry, Lils," he said gently, then helped me off the road. I melted into his hazel eyes, just like I had for the past year. I needed him and I couldn't hold it off any longer.

"James, we need to talk," I breathed, while grabbing his arm and pulling him all the way back to the castle. We walked to the Common Room in silence and luckily it was completely empty.

"Lily," he panted slightly. "What-do-we-need-to-talk-about?"

"What happened last week." I led him to a scarlet sofa, and plopped onto a cushion. I quickly launched into everything that Dumbledore had told me and my suspicions.

"Wow, Lil. I really didn't expect that. So… what would you call it?"

"It's a type of a Seer," I answered, barely audible. "Do you hate me for not telling you?" I looked down at my hands, completely ashamed.

"I could never hate you. Never." He pulled me into a huge hug and I could feel how sincere he was being. All his warmth flooded to my body. "Lily, I love you so much, and you can always talk to me about anything."

He held me at arms length, his eyes pouring into mine. I had hid from those eyes for a whole week, and I had no idea how I maintained that. "I love you too, James."

He pulled me into another hug. I loved him so much. James kissed me passionately, more full of love than he ever had before.

**AN: Hey everyone! So sorry for taking so long but I was hospitalized in November / December for 3 weeks and have been recovering since. I just got back to school at the beginning of February and I've had a bunch of work and mid terms to make up, not to mention college applications and scholarship apps. Life has been really hectic and my family life isn't doing to well. So thanks everyone who reviewed for the last chapter and hopefully you're still reading this because I really do appreciate you all and your reviews just make my days that much better! Please, please, please keep reading and reviewing!**


	9. Revealing Secrets

Chapter 9

Revealing Secrets

The Portrait Hole burst open and Sirius came bursting in, out of breath and causing us to break our lip lock.

"Prongs," he wheezed. "We have to go." He panted again. "It's one hour until sundown. We've got to hurry for Moony." I looked strangely at James who held me in his arms.

"What's wrong with Remus?" I asked sincerely.

"He's just… his mom's really sick… so he has to visit her. We're –er-going to see him off," Sirius lied as an answer.

I eyed him suspiciously. "When will you be back?" I asked James while putting on my best version of Bethany's puppy dog eyes.

"Not until really late. Don't wait up for me," he answered skeptically. He kissed my cheek.

"Fine, I'll just go for a walk around the lake or something," I replied, waving it off. A look of panic spread across his face.

"No, Lils. Stay inside tonight."

"Why?"

"Just promise me. Just promise me you'll stay inside the castle."

"Why?" I asked again, more annoyingly.

"Geez, do you ever give up on the questions?" Sirius asked, while pushing the portrait hole open again.

"No," I replied hotly. "James, why can't I go for a walk?"

"It's just dangerous, Lily."

"James," I whined. "I'm seventeen. I've been to the lake alone before! I can handle myself against the giant squid, don't worry. I can fight my way out of the depths of his moist and saliva filled stomach, while he swims around the bottom of the icy lake, cackling loudly that he ate me. Don't worry."

He grabbed my arms and held me at their length. His beautiful eyes were full or worry. "Lily, just promise me."

I realized I was fighting a losing battle. "Fine. Just be careful, yourself." He smiled at me then left with Sirius right behind him.

I plopped onto the couch. I already knew about Remus being a werewolf, and James, Sirius, and Peter being illegal animagi. It was easy to see. First of all, their nicknames. I mean, come on! Moony? Prongs? Padfoot? Wormtail? Those are not normal nicknames. Secondly, they always left on full moon nights. Remus was always really sick during that time.

All I wanted was for James to tell me. I'll just confront him tomorrow. I want to help, and I don't want him to get hurt trying to control a vicious werewolf.

The next day, the sparkling sun shone through the window and lit up our dormitory room. I joyously pushed the blankets off of me, and hastily got ready for the day to come.

I threw my hair into a quick ponytail and jumped into a short jean skirt and a green shirt to match my eyes. I smiled at my reflection, then turned to the beds, noticing I was the only one awake. I bounced down the stairs to the Common Room.

I felt so… wonderful now that everything between James and I were almost okay, I just needed to talk to him about Remus.

I looked around, surveying the room for him. James was nowhere in sight. Everything was almost perfect with us. I had to fix up Remus' part right now.

I quietly tip-toed up the boy's staircase and halted at a sign which read:

_The Marauders._

_Prongs, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail_

_Enter At Your Own Risk_

I chuckled lightly and pushed open the door, entering their room for the first time. It looked slightly like our dorm, yet with way more decor. Quidditch posters hung everywhere, with players zooming between them. Each bed seemed to be larger than ours, and had scarlet hangings. The walls were scarlet, also, and the floor was a magnificent white marble.

I couldn't help but chuckle when I noticed each of their names engraved into the headboards. They really had improved this place a lot.

I snuck over to the end of the room and the headboard that read 'Prongs.' I pulled open the curtains and smiled at my sleeping angel. He was curled into a little ball with the blankets pushed down to the edge, about to fall off the bed. He only wore a pair of flannel pajama pants.

I edged my way next to him and his arms wrapped around my waist. His eyes slowly opened, with a smile pulling on the corner of his perfect lips.

"James, we have to talk," I said reluctantly. He had looked so sweet laying there; it was a shame to wake him.

"What about?" he asked after putting a charm on the bed, so no one else could hear.

This was awkward situation for me… Talking to my boyfriend about a werewolf while I lay on his bed, wrapped in his arms, when he didn't have a shirt on.

"I know about Remus. I also know about you, Sirius, and Peter."

He looked a little pale. "H-H-How did y-you find out?" he asked nervously, while sitting up, but keeping his arm wrapped around my waist.

"I figured it out on my own. Don't worry, I haven't told anyone."

"You never cease to amaze me. Why are you so smart?" he asked, a smile still playing on his lips.

"It's a gift," I laughed. I pulled myself from the bed after kissing his cheek. "You look beat after your night's escapade. Go back to sleep." He smiled graciously at me as I closed the bed hangings and walked from the room.

After hours of finishing my homework, James finally decided to come down with his friends and plop down next to me. I kissed him, as soon as I set down my complete essay for potions.

"Geez, Lil. Five feet of parchment?! It only had to be one!" I smiled at his face and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"What can I say, I'm an overachiever."

"I love overachievers," he said as he kissed me deeply.

"Then I better be the only one in this school," I laughed and he nodded, grinning wide.

At lunch (we missed breakfast for sleeping in late), James was vigorously debating with Sirius about Quidditch, while Shae and I chatted.

"You and James seemed comfortable this morning," she said.

I laughed a little. "Yes, very. I love him and he loves me."

"Well, have you shown him how much you love him?" she asked me. I gave a confused look and she continued. "You know! Have you –er- given yourself to him yet?" I quickly have a look of comprehension to make her stop.

"No, truth be told, I'm scared to. I mean, he's broken so many girls' hearts right after, and I really love him. I don't know if he'd give me up, or not." She nodded in understanding, since it was the same with Sirius, but began to contradict me.

"Well, if he loves you as much as you say he does, then he won't." I smiled at my plate, then gave up the conversation.

**A/N: Reviews are very, very welcome and appreciated. I apologize for taking so long but if you read my note after Chapter 8, you'll understand. Thanks for still reading, if you are. I'm finally getting away from it all this weekend so hopefully I'll have some time to write up more chapters for everyone. The more reviews, the more likely I am to post!**


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